Crackering Ball...Again?

Crackering Ball Fireworks package. These things crackered like you wouldn't believe. I just noticed that I have, in fact, posted this fireworks package before. Oops.

By way of apology, here is a ridiculous drawing by Pushead from the back cover of an issue of Thrasher comics (I think...). Clicking on it makes it REALLY big.



You are welcome.

Flat Duo Jets s/t Cassette (1989)

Is this thing still in print? I don't know. I have looked everywhere on the stupid internet and my initial thinking is that no, it is not in print. Anyway, here are the Flat Duo Jets in the beginning, when there were three of them. I've always liked Dexter's guitar playing. Somehow he makes his guitar sound absolutely HUGE. Does that make sense? Listen to this and it will.

I know I have seen the Flat Duo Jets at least twice, but I cannot remember the specifics. I wasn't drunk, I am just old. I think it was at Hoyt Street? Maybe they played with Man or Astroman?? I don't know.

I'm not sure if anyone knows what Crow's up to, but Dexter's still playing, and you should totally buy his records and go see him when and if he plays in your town because he's still "got it" whatever "it" is. The last time I saw Dexter, he was eating at The Grit with my friend The Tooch. That was awesome.

This'll get you guys through the weekend. We're putting a new floor in the house and the records (and the record player) are all boxed up, so I may not have any more for a couple of days. I'm sure that may upset the 5 of you who look at this thing, but they'll be back. I promise.

This is from a cassette, and I'm still learning this whole analog-to-digital thing, so this may be hissier than it should be. It's still awesome, though.

Get it!

The Counts: "Shake The Town" / "Teen-Age Guy and Gal"

This is Rock and Roll music. No matter how quaint and Time-Life collection it sounds now, this shit used to scare the hell out of parents. Okay, there's an implied "white" before the word "parents" in that sentence, and even though this record brings images of the "good kids" music in John Waters' Crybaby, I'm pretty sure that it had people making the same facial expresion that I made the first time I heard Brokencyde, and dudes, that ain't a good face.

Click here to Shake The Town!

Oh, and the tags are messed up because I titled side A "Shake This Town and not "Shake The Town". You'll get over it.

Robert Owens: "I'm In Love With My Sister" / "It's Too Late Now"

"I'm in love with my sister / she's in love with my friend / he's in love with another / where will all this end? / I just keep on loving her / I can never change her name. / You can't marry your sister / Who ever heard of such a thing?"

If that's not a hook, then I don't know what is. Sure, Robert Owens offers what is, I guess, a good explanation of how this is possible, but by that point, it's too late. Especially when he comes back later in the song with a can't miss line like "how do you tell your sister that you want her for your wife?"

Speaking of which, the B-side "It's Too Late Now" is okay, I guess, but with an A-side like this one, I rarely make it to the point where I turn the record over.

Click here to see where all this will end...

Wm. D. Rogers: "The Moon Shot" / "The Atom Bomb"

Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY? I don't know where to begin. This is just 6 minutes of the ramblings of a crazy person. Of course, I love it. I can only imagine Wm. D. Rogers walking into a studio and proclaiming "I got some stuff to say!", plopping down on a stool and just taking off with these two...um...songs?

It sounds like he's picking with a quarter or a washer or a nail or something. If you're anything like me, you'll have a really hard time getting these songs out of your head. This is one that should give you more than enough to think about over the long weekend. Enjoy!

Click here to download Old Stage Records number 1002. You'll be glad you did!

Lester Lanin: "Down By The Riverside" / "West Indies Ska"

I put the B-Side image up at the top of this post, because that's what you should be downloading this for. The A-side is a perfectly serviceable Dixieland-ish version of "Down By The Riverside" a song everyone has heard probably 700 times whether they know it or not. It's nowhere near as good as Jimmy Durante's version, but then... no version is. The B-side is surprisingly rocking for Lester Lanin who's primarily known for his light jazz (not the modern Kenny G interpretation of this term, mind you...) and syrupy instrumentals.

But yeah, it's a good song, and you should hear it. That's all. I'll probably have more songs about robots up here soon, in case you're wondering about that.

Click here to do the ska with Lester Lanin! I originally uploaded this post with both links pointing to the Lester Lanin Wikipedia page. I am still figuring out how to work the internet. The second link has been fixed, and you can download the record now. Thanks, Phil!

Tony (Robot) Alamo: "The Robot Walk" / "Mr. Machine"

I didn't know anything about Tony (Robot) Alamo before a couple of days ago. I mean, I knew he made this record, because I have it. But that's it. So let's get the record part out of the way. It's a remake of a song from the last record I posted, Pat and Lolly Vegas' "Robot Walk". This one's louder and more bombastic and has a robot voice in the middle part that's a little more...menacing than the Vegas brothers' version. One has to give bonus points for being the original, but I always gave the edge to Mr. Alamo. It just seems like he wants it more.

Now, on to what I have learned. Keep in mind that I do not know with 100% certainty that we are talking about the same Tony Alamo here, but the record I'm posting here today is mentioned on a couple of anti-Tony Alamo message boards, so I feel fairly confident that it is. Also, the Tony Alamo I about to tell you about was born in 1935, which is the catalog number of this record. This could be a coincidence, though.

Anti-Tony Alamo message boards, you ask? Yep. Let's start with the Wikipedia page. Seems Mr. Alamo is the leader of a religious organization called "Tony Alamo Christian Ministries". Mr. Alamo is currently in jail awaiting a trial for "charges of taking minor girls across state lines for sex" (Wikipedia). Five days ago, Alamo entered a guilty plea in Arkansas for failing to register as a sex offender. This information, as pointed out in a comment below, appears to have been incorrectly reported, and the article from which I originally got that information no longer shows up in a Google News search for "Tony Alamo".

Alamo's connection to pop music is a strange one as well, considering the existence of another Tony Alamo, a big-band singer born in Havana, Cuba. Tony (Robot) Alamo allegedly took credit for the work of this Tony Alamo when talking to his followers about his past. Honestly, the whole Tony Alamo thing jut gets weirder the more I read about it. Here is a link to a message board where Tony (Robot) Alamo's musical past is discussed along with more...troubling aspects of his life.

You know what? I Googled it for you. You can listen to his music while you read through all that.

Click here to enjoy another version of "The Robot Walk", with a past somewhat more colorful past than merely appearing in a movie called The Nasty Rabbit.

Pat and Lolly Vegas: "Robot Walk" / "Don't You Remember"

Pat and Lolly Vegas may be better remembered for being the core of Native American rock band Redbone, but honestly, if you record a song about a robot, especially one as awesome as this, then that's what I am going to remember you for.

Pat and Lolly performed this song in the 1964 film The Nasty Rabbit.

Click here to do the Robot Walk!

Soupy Sales: "Spanish Flea" / "That Wasn't No Girl"

What's your favorite song? My 2-year-old son's answer to this question would instantly be "Spanish Flea". Not this version...the Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass version. He loves that song.

This version confuses him, because as far as he is concerned, "Spanish Flea" is not supposed to have lyrics. He hasn't seen that one episode of The Simpsons where homer sings part of it. You probably have, right? I couldn't find a good clip of it on youtube, but here is a crappy one.

Anyway, it's Soupy Sales and it's awesome. I was going to make a joke here about his (Soupy's) son's band and how terrible it was but I thought that would seem forced. Although I'm pretty sure I just did make that joke. Oh, well.

The B-Side is about the dangers of driving around with a guy who has "that long Liverpool hair" in your car because your girlfriend will break up with you because she saw him and thought he was a girl. Those were simpler times, I guess.

Here is a little Spanish flea...

The Tune Rockers - "The Green Mosquito" / "Warm Up"

I should thank Devlin for this. Well, Devlin and The Cramps. See, I never would have bought this thing if The Cramps hadn't used the intro to "The Green Mosquito" for their song "Human Fly", and also if Devlin hadn't told me that that's where they got it.

I'm glad I did. This is good sax-driven instrumental rock music. You should spend 5 minutes of your day listening to this.

Click here to download United Artists single # UA 139 X.

The Frantics: "Gayway Twist"

Patrick picked this postcard record up for me when he went to Seattle. Regrettably, neither of us went to the 1962 Seattle World's Fair. The "Gayway" of the title, by the way, was an amusement park that was a part of the 1962 Fair. I did not just know that. I had to use the internet to look it up.

So, yeah, you should download this and for almost two and a half minutes, you can pretend it is 47 years ago and relive the glory of the Gayway. The Gayway was renamed "The Fun Forest" after the Fair. I'm glad they waited because somehow "The Fun Forest Twist" sounds even dirtier.

Click here to start Gayway Twistin'! Front and back scans of the postcard are included for nerds like me.

Human Greed - "Para Eso Habeis Nacido" 7"

If there's one thing that (until today) this "blog" has been lacking, it is pissed-off French Canadian grindcore.

Human Greed did a split 7" with Monster X, which is how I first heard of them, and also this record, and maybe some other stuff, but the internet is not forthcoming with a whole lot of information about this band. There's apparently an active British experimental project called Human Greed, but it's not the same guy(s).

The sound's kind of shitty and I think it skips a couple of times, but you can just pretend you're back living in the punkhouse and it is 1995 and you're more concerned with smashing the fucking state than going out to buy a new needle or whatever. Maybe you can dumpster one later.

Label scans, front and back covers and the (bilingual) lyrics are included.

Click here to download.

The Four Speeds - "My Sting Ray" / "R.P.M"

Do people write songs about their cars anymore? I guess rap is probably the most likely to do something like that in this modern age, and rappers do often make mention of their cars, but there's nothing like this going on now, that I know of. If it is happening, please clue me in because although I have limited interest in cars themselves, songs about cars is another matter altogether.

Also, I know only 5 or 6 people are reading this, but would it kill you dudes to leave a comment once in a while? I'd like to know if anyone besides me is enjoying this.

Also also, you guys should really be paying attention to Red's blog because it is awesome on a scope that I can't manage. He also has a 45-a-day email list which is well worth signing up for.

Anyway, let's all click here to download a couple of songs about cars!

Barmate: Home Bartenders' Guide to Expert Drink Mixing.

I don't drink alcohol. Without getting too Earth Crisis on you, I never saw the point. Always seemed like a wast of time to me, you know? Anyway, this thing is beautiful. From front to back it is an amazing booklet from the fine people at Southern Comfort.

Enjoy!

Here's the link.

You guys have a good weekend!